I'm welcomed back with open arms.

Hello all!
It's been quite sometime since I blogged. I apologize because I wrote in my last entry that I would summarize my journey but the truth is, coming back to my "normal" life means I'm coming back to being busy. As soon as debrief was over with MTW, I had only a week to be at home before I was at band camp for the Auburn University Marching Band. And as soon as that ended, school started, and that led to football season beginning. Which leads me to today. This has, without a doubt, been my busiest and most stressful year. I'm juggling school, band, my music sorority, working at a frozen yogurt place, and doing my various extra activities, like RUF and being with friends. Things like blogs have been put on hold because I'm not getting a grade on a blog, or will be late to a blog. My classes are all very demanding and the worst part is the stress that comes with these classes. But, God always wins over my tired heart. My title to this blog is called "I'm welcomed back with open arms" because every thing that has happened in this short semester so far has pointed me back to God's open arms. I am adored by Him. Recently, I had to interview with about 45 other girls for a select cohort into the College of Education at Auburn. I was pleased with my job, however, I was so nervous about what would happen if I didn't get in. So many questions ran through my head that caused me to doubt God's good plan for my life. When I realized what I was doing, I turned to see peace and comfort waiting for me. God knows that I worry about money and my future and if I'll ever be happy. What he wants me to do is rest. And that's something I've learned over the years I don't do very well. Kenya 2011 taught me to believe that God will always take care of me, even when money is tight and life is busy. Coming back home from Kenya, I sometimes wonder if God taught me these lessons because He knew that life in school, as a junior trying to figure out the last half of college, would be so difficult.
My family has been so supportive, doing everything from praying constantly to being patient with me as I vent using tones of frustrations onto them to writing blogs that encourage me to be real. I love them so much and I know that my walk with the Lord has a lot to do with how I've seen them walk. I'm going to end this blog early, mostly because of an early morning tomorrow, but I want to end with a verse that speaks to my heart:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." -Is. 43:1

-V

Last of my days in Kenya

Dear Friends and Family,
This might be one of my last few posts in Kenya because I don’t know when I’ll have internet again. I’m having a hard time writing this blog because I simply don’t know how to summarize a two month trip that literally changed the way I view missions. I mean, the Lord took all my struggles and pains and sufferings and pushed them into my life and the lives of my team. I’ve blogged about it before, and I’ll blog about it again. God took the crutch that I had been using to support myself and kicked it aside, causing me to fall. And as I was falling, I grabbed his hand and just held on because I knew that His way was the right way. When I think that I know what I am doing, and that I can make it on my own, that’s when the Lord proves me wrong. The Lord has taught me to rest in him because his plan for my life is so much better than my plan for my life. He knows the whole world and everything that happens to every creature. He created everything in his power and might and that includes everything about me. He knows my heart and my needs and what I want out of life and what I struggle with the most. One of the hardest things I’m having to deal with at this time is adjusting to the end of the trip. This week begins the week of goodbyes. And the weird thing is just the fact that it’s already here. I’ve been looking forward to this internship for months, and now, it’s done. What I’m going through now is that I don’t want to leave at all but at the same time, I’m excited to get home, start a new chapter, and take all the knowledge and things I’ve learned here and apply it. I don’t want to be leaving but I’m not upset about coming home either. I don’t want to say goodbye at all to all the people and friends I’ve made here. I’m really going to miss my first graders and the girls at Shunam. But, like high school graduation, I refuse to say goodbye. It’s more like “see you later.” First of all, I’ve been praying a lot about whether the Lord would have me return to Kenya sometime later. I don’t know yet because honestly, I have to pay off student loans after college before I can come back. And yet, how cool would it be to come back and spend a year or so working as a teacher somewhere. Second of all, we’re all a family in Christ so the encouraging thing about leaving is knowing that someday I’ll see my Kenyan brothers and sisters again forever. We are all united under the blood of Jesus and that’s a powerful and wonderful thing.
Today (Monday, July 18) me, Rachel, Jacob and Dot (woman living with us) went on an adventure. We walked down the road that our house is on to the end of it and waited for a matatu (taxi) to pick us up. Then we went to our local market and bought fresh fruit. Mangos, pineapples, bananas, and other little goodies that are fresh and wonderful. Well, fruit is heavy, and suddenly, we realized we didn’t want to walk all the way back to our home. It took us at least 30 minutes of just walking to get to the end of the road. Imagine holding really heavy fruits in plastic bags. So, we chose a different mean of transportation. Motor Bikes!! That’s right. We called a man that Dot knew and trusted and he brought 3 of his friends and rode us back. Amazing! I could have ridden it all day. I was able to see more than I see in a van, and it was just incredible feeling that wind in my hair. It was so awesome! If I could have the opportunity to do it again, I would in a heart beat.
The most beautiful thing about this trip that I’m both really going to miss and really excited to take with me is the natural features of the land. The sun rises are breath takingly amazing and the sun sets are gorgeous. And God is in all of that. He created the whole world and everything that is in it. He made it all, and knows all, and loves all. He loves seeing his creation at work. His heart smiles when he sees the sun rise, and he laughs when the chickens freak out over food. What a beautiful thing it is to know that the God I serve and love is all about laughter and joy. I love laughing, and throughout this trip, my team mates have seen that. I laugh at everything, even if I don’t understand what’s happening. Laughter is my automatic response to everything. And you know what, God loves that. He made me to love laughing and he loves that. When I am in awe of the power and beauty of a sunset, God is pleased by that. He loves it when I am in love with his creation. What I am excited about is coming home and treating Flowery Branch sunsets or Auburn sunrises with the same awe and respect that I have here. Also, one thing that still blows my mind is the extreme generosity that is shown by the Kenyans who go to Kibera Reformed Presbyterian Church. The teachers and staff that work there don’t make nearly enough money to stay afloat. They work so hard, and sometimes aren’t even noticed. Their work is in secret, and that makes them so humble. The women in the kitchen give a part of their salary (which is little) to a pot, and then they use that money for those who are in need. How humbling is that? They have nothing as it is, and yet they give what they do not have. Excellent examples of the Good Samaritan. The teachers are so wonderful and Godly, and yet half of them live in Kibera. They themselves don’t have anything and yet they give so much time away for the children. I have been incredibly blessed to have had the chance to shadow them and learn from them. They are all amazing people with incredibly big hearts for the Lord.
I’ll blog again to tell you guys that I am home and to fully summarize my feelings on this trip. It will be a final Kenyan blog that I’ll use to thank everyone for praying for me these past two months and to again, thank the Lord for such a wonderful summer. It will be tough to leave this wonderful country but I am confident that the Lord will strengthen me and keep me safe. He is my rock and my redeemer. He sees me when nobody else does. He loves me when nobody else does. He hears my cries, my tears, my laughter, and my joy.
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” - Psalm 16:11

Virginia

Awkward Colored Bowls

Dear friends and family,
This past weekend (July 8-9), us interns got to go on a safari! We were picked up in the morning, and drove for about five hours to this land called Masi Mara. We stayed at a nice camp ground with really cool tents that had bathrooms and two or three beds inside. It’s difficult to describe but, it was really cool. We had lunch and were off to spend a good five hour safari tour. The tops of our jeeps popped off and we could stand up in the middle of the car. I had to stand on top of a seat to see out and it was kinda painful at times due to random bolts and bars but it turned out to be really worth it. We were able to see so many animals in one afternoon. Elephants, zebras, wildebeests...oh my! :) It was awesome! The sunset was beautiful, and the weather was pretty much perfect. I honestly could not ask for a better tour. Then, add to it, we were able to go for a sunrise tour at 6:30 am the next morning! Oh, my goodness. It was the best thing ever. More animals, but this time, we saw cheetahs, a family of lions, hippos, and more zebras, wildebeests, and elephants. The sunrise was gorgeous, and again, the rest of the morning was so perfect and beautiful.
I realized during our weekend of safari that God must be incredibly beautiful. How could he not be? The animals were all unique and yet the same, and the way they do the same thing everyday, so schedule and structured, has to be made by a Creator. And, how beautiful the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and the trees. Someone with artistic taste and beautiful hands had to make all of that. Everything that I saw was natural, beautiful, unique, and hand created by the Lord. And then there is me. Small, weak little me. Totally insignificant compared to other things or sometimes other people. “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet...Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”-Psalm 8: 5-8 And yet, here, in his word, He has made me more important than all the animals that I saw this weekend. How encouraging is that to know that above all else, God favors me.
The Sunday after our Safari was kinda tough because everyone except for me, Justin and Rebecca got some kind of food poison/stomach bug. People were throwing up everywhere you looked. Not to be gross, but it was a mess. I hate hearing, seeing, or even thinking about people getting sick, but I had to push that thought out of my mind because it was suddenly my turn to take care of all my sick friends. I figured something like this would happen but I didn’t think it would skip me. God had me in mind, and protected me from the terrible curse of throwing up. I remember Courtney looking at me and saying “I just wish I could die.” Sounds terrible right? Yes.
Our team has been extremely blessed by not having a clear period of conflict. We have all joked about little cases where we did have one, like the colored bowls. They are organized into two different categories: red and yellow and blue and green. For a whole month they were sitting like this and that was good enough for me. And then, somebody messed up the pattern. I don’t know who and I don’t really care but the point is they messed up the bowls. And then, to make everything worse, they put them on top of the highest part of the shelves where I couldn’t reach them, even standing on a chair. I mean, it’s not a big deal, but, it kinda is. But you know, other than that, everything has been peachy-perfect. And that’s only due to the grace of our Lord Jesus. :)
We only have 2 weeks left in this wonderful country and none of us are really all that happy to be talking about it. We all know that it will happen, and that we’ll walk into 10 different directions but at this point, I can’t imagine my life without them. 2 months with 10 people is a significant amount of time in my life. And, I can’t imagine my life without the wonderful Kenyans. Goodness, there’s my precious little first graders that make me laugh every week. And then there is the girls at Shunam, and Purity and Caroline. They are a feisty group of women and they have captured my heart. The teachers are all awesome and fun to be with. I always hate leaving Kibera at the end of the day because I want to spend more time with them. How on earth am I going to be ok leaving a country of friends not knowing if I am going to see them again? I’m not ok with that.
“ In your presence there is fullness of joy and at your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

Virginia

Has it really been a month?

Dear Friends and Family,
I hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July! It felt weird celebrating my nations birthday in a different country but we had an awesome celebration with some of the workers who have been working on the land with us. We cooked hotdogs (rather, smoked chicken sausages) and had fresh fruit, french fries, ice cream, and lots of great dancing music. I had the best time simply dancing really awkwardly and laughing with everyone. It’s been a little bit more difficult to get to know the workers as a woman because I’ve been told scary mission stories. But, none of that have has happened, and I feel kinda bad about keeping my distance. Some of them mentioned that they really want to know us girls better because we are sisters in Christ. So, we’ll start talking to them and getting to know them as brothers in Christ. :)
Today is Tuesday which means we were in Kibera today. I did my teaching, and today I got to teach the kids about Christmas, and the reason we need to be thankful for the things God gives us. I asked them “What are you thankful for?” and I expected answers like “My mom”, “My dogs”, or “My teacher.” But the answers I got were, “Prayer”, “Worshipping the Lord”, and “Faith”. What I wanted them to say were straight up good material things, and instead, I got a conviction as to what is more important to me. These little kids mean so much to me. They love seeing me, and love calling me by my Kenyan name, “Kanini” which mean “short one.” :) I’m dreading the week when I have to leave them. After lunch, I got to go on a house visit, and meet this wonderful sister in Christ. She is a single mom but has lost the custody of her children because she doesn’t have a job to support them. So her kids live with her parents and are struggling to make ends meet. Her husband died, and she doesn’t have anyone that lives with her. She is tired, like all Kibera Kenyans, and is simply trying to live to each day. But, she love the Lord so much, and goes to a good church. She loves singing, and sang me a song that she wrote. I don’t remember all the lyrics but one line said “ I trust you to take care of me when I can’t.” How true! She made me tear up because her life is so much more of a challenge then mine is, and yet, she puts all her hope and trust in the Lord. The Lord is using so many different people and situations to get ahold of my heart.
Things have been challenging to me lately. It seems like my sin has been appearing up more and more in my life. It stays hidden so well when I don’t have a phone, or a constant ability to get online. I’ve really been struggling lately with the perfect plan of God. I’ve been praying so much about my future and how to deal with the questions like “Is there going to be a job for me when I graduate?” “Should I teach in Kenya?” “Am I going to get married?” These questions may seem silly, but I’ve been plagued by them. Kenya has changed the way I view the Lord and my service towards him. But, my doubts have been in the way of everything. My perfect game plan would be to graduate, move to Kenya for two years, and then get married to mystery man. But, I don’t know what’s going to happen. If you want to keep that in your prayers, that’d be great. I want to serve the Lord but I just don’t know how yet.
I love you guys so much. I’ve experienced God’s love in such a deeper way than ever before. He has showed me my sin, and pushed me to fall into Him because of it. He says “Virginia, you want to get married? You want a soul mate? You better trust me first. You have to believe that my will for your life is good, perfect, and pleasing. Sweet child of mine, trust your Father’s will for your life. Trust that I will take care of you, even if I never give you what you want.” I don’t want to leave Kenya at all. I love this culture, and the friends I have made, and the children I have taught. But, I know that home and being back in school will be good because I can take all that I’ve learned this summer and apply it to the rest of my life. I love you guys, and I really miss all of your smiley happy faces. I hope that everyone is having a great summer. Talk to yall soon!
Virginia!

Love that Will not Let me Go

Dear Friends and Family,
I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but the other day, I challenged the Lord to prove something to me. Challenged isn’t even the right word. I boldly asked the Lord to show me something about him. You see, the other day, I kinda felt like I had hit the bottom level of tiredness on this trip. My heart was tired of searching for something. And while I knew the Lord would be what I was searching for, I was too blind to even notice. One evening, all the emotions, and exhaustion just fell on my weak little heart, and I couldn’t help but cry out to the Lord for help. And in the midst of all of it, He spoke to my heart. That night I was looking at the stars, and that night was one of the most beautiful nights to look at stars so far. God made all of those stars and knows every single one of their patterns. He also knows me, and knows every single thing about me. I realized that only God can make stars shine and twinkle like that do, and only God can know every detail about them. So, that night, I prayed that Jesus would be my romancer. That He would prove to me that His love and kindness and romantic ways are better than what I was looking for in other people. I challenged Him to be what I need.
The morning after I prayed that, there was a beautiful sun rise. Probably the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. The rest of the day was sunny, warm, and happy. In the evening, there was without a doubt, the most beautiful sun set I have seen so far on this trip. The way the colors mixed together and the way the sun rays shone through the clouds were obvious that I serve a God who is an artist. Jesus answered my prayers on the first day with the most wonderful and beautiful day I’ve ever seen. My God is a creative artist who can put together the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. And, my God is a creative sculpture who has made me, and is proud of me. He loves everything about me, and wants my heart more than anything else. How wonderful to know that I belong to a King who not only knows everything about the world, but everything about me.
Each morning I’ve been reading a Psalm and today I read Psalm 6. It’s a tough one to read because the psalmists is really struggling. He says “heal me O Lord, for my bones hurt.” His whole body is aching, and he is tired. So tired he weeps at night from exhaustion. People are evil to him, and it’s taking everything he has to love them. But the best part of this whole psalm is when he says that the Lord knows “the sound of my weeping.” The Lord knows the sound of my tears! He knows the way I cry, the way I laugh, and the way I burden myself with guilt. The psalmist ends by saying the Lord heard his cry, heard his prayer, and answered it. All of his enemies shall be put to shame, and troubled. “They shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.” Despite the sadness in this psalm, it hits me in a deep way. This man was clearly struggling, and the Lord heard him. All this man did was proclaim his problems to the Lord and wait in patience for peace. That’s all I need to do. Tell the Lord that my biggest desire is to be wanted, desired and be worthy for someone and wait in patience for peace. The Lord knows my heart.
I’m going to end this blog with a small update on what’s going on here, since I really didn’t even mention the ministry in Kibera. :) This week Paster Imbumi had a pasters conference this week so we haven’t seen him in a week. The school is doing well, and I’ve really really enjoyed teaching and being with my first graders. The other day, I brought in construction paper and crayons and had them draw pictures of them and their families at Christmas time. All of the kids lit up with pure happiness to be able to draw and some of them drew me in the pictures with their families. Sometimes it feels like I haven’t really been doing a lot for these children. I just show up and hang out with them. But through my love for them, Jesus is working in their little hearts. Some of these kids come from bad homes, broken homes, or poor homes. One of my little girls was ironing and burned about half of her hand. Now she is scarred and will forever have this on her hand. And yet, despite that, some of them have asked me for Bibles. So, even though sometimes I feel like I’m more of a distraction than actual help, Jesus is working, and is in their heart. Another little thing that’s been going on is with our team. From the very beginning, we made fun of the idea of having conflict. We would joke about when people were tired or irritated that we had entered the conflict stage. But really, what I think has been happening is little tiny tensions have been building and nobody is willing to bring it up. Pray for our team. We need to be willing to open up about our feelings and if we’ve been hurt. The devil is cunning, and used our pride of not having conflict to actually stir up tensions to create conflict. Pray that we will trust in Jesus for our needs and hopes and desires. The last thing that’s been going on around Kenya is the friendships we’ve been making with the girls in Shunem. The stories these girls have are shocking. And yet they are all saved and redeemed. They are beautiful, laugh so much, and are tricky little things. If you’re in their way, they’ll pinch you. The joy they have in the Lord is convicting. I’ve loved being with them and laughing about nothing and everything with them. It’s going to break my heart to have to leave.
Hope everything is doing great in the States! I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July! We’ll have our own little celebration here on Saturday July 2 with the girls. We’ll show them how Americans celebrate our nations birthday with hot dogs, backed beans and ice cream sundaes. I’ll leave yall with my dad’s famous quote from church that has been more beneficial than ever: “Your sin is not an hindrance to the work of Jesus in you; your sin is the very reason for the work of Jesus in you.”
Love you guys!
Virginia Jo.

Hello!
Today (Friday, June 24) we went to into the city of Nairobi and did a little touristy-shopping. It was fun, but it was getting there that was exciting. We rode in a van to about half way there and then had lunch at a Javahouse. Ironic yes. And then we did public transportation until we got to the city. Now, the thing about Kenya is they don’t follow the idea that people have the right of way. If you cross the street, you better have enough time to cross because the cars will not stop for you. And that’s what we experienced. Once we got into the city, we did a little shopping for gifts and stuff. The guys are making dinner for us tonight, and I think it’s going to consist of fruit and marconi and cheese :)
This week has been tiring to me. I feel like there are days when my heart is just tired of repeating the message “Am I satisfied with where I am? Can I let go of my dreams and give it to the Lord?” On Wednesday, Caroline ( mother to the rescued women), Jacob and I went into some of the homes of those suffering in the Kibera. It was heart breaking at times. One women we visited was so tired. Her husband was no where to be found and she had two children to feed and clothe. Another was an old woman, close to 90 years old. But instead of breaking my heart in a sad way, she broke my heart in a spiritual way. Her name is Mary and she loves the Lord. Mary told me that she relies on the Lord for every single one of her needs. She knows that if she even thinks that she can do things without the Lord, she will fail. The Lord used Mary to show me how little my faith is. I don’t rely on the Lord for every single on of my needs. I don’t even rely on him for half of my needs. We only visited 4 homes, but I was exhausted. I think another reason I’m tired is I’m trying so hard to be the girl everyone wants to be friends with. It’s a terrible desire to want this. I start to listen to the lies that whisper terrible things about me, and why nobody would ever want to be my friend. And because I’m so weak, I listen, believe, and try to change it. Sometimes it doesn’t even cross my mind that Jesus wants to be my friend. Jesus wants to be my friend. And, all I can think about is whether I’m being paid enough attention. Why would anyone want to be my friend if they knew this was what I wanted? But, Jesus wants to be my friend. And more than that! He wants my heart to belong to him, and not to anyone else. He doesn’t want me to chase after guys because He knows they will let me down. He doesn’t want me to chase after friendships because He knows they will let me down. He doesn’t want me to chase after myself because He knows I’ll fail myself. He wants me. He has always wanted me.
Everyone knows that I am a romantic, cheesy kind of girl. In fact, the girls I’ve been living with here asked me what will I do once I’m married, because I’ll have lived the day I’ve been waiting my whole life for. I’m just that girl. And it’s bringing tears to my eyes to know that Jesus longs to be the person I’m desiring. He wants to fill that spot. He wants me to be comfortable in my singleness because He is here. My whole life has been a constant search for what will satisfy the craving my heart wants.

“O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee.”

Virginia Jo

Kenya Dig it?

Dear Friends and Family,
This past Saturday, the Kibera Church hosted a VBS day for all the children who go to the school, church, or live in the community. It was such a success! We had around 215 children that showed up. And those who knew me were so happy to see me. Mark, my team leader and I were on the story telling committee and we told the story of Noah’s Ark. Those kids just ate it up. They loved hearing about it, and asked questions about it. It was really fun! Then on sunday, Travis did the sermon. And it was the first time all summer I heard an English sermon. I’ll never take it for granted again. Travis did a great job talking about James 1, and I think all the people liked it.
This morning was a little rough for me. I woke up to make breakfast at 6:20 am, and I get there, and one of the women who is living with us was there ready to help me. Except that instead of helping me, she critiqued everything I did. And everything I did was wrong and needed fixing. What I wanted to make for the group was scrambled egg sandwiches. But that wasn’t on the menu for today’s breakfast. I’m not going to rant about this, but the Lord, through in my sin of thinking I have patience and love towards people, said “you don’t.” Because the whole time she was correcting me, I was not loving. I was not patient. I was upset, frustrated and hurt. And that’s my sin just messing up my life. Thank goodness I have a God who is so eager to forgive.
Yesterday, we went to a legit Kenyan market. Us girls were given money and a shopping list and we went out ready to bargain. It was such an experience! I loved it because everything smelled so fresh and natural compared to Publix. I was told how beautiful I am on several occasions, and that just made me feel so much better about myself. :) But it was good for me to get out of my zone, and see how the real Kenyans shop. We bought carrots, peas, green plants, and a ton of fresh fruits.
I don’t have a lot to say about this blog, which is kinda weird. There hasn’t been a lot that has happened since I last posted. Some of us are getting head colds and coughs. We’re half way done with our trip, and none of us are really happy about that. I know for me that I really want to stay here, and just have all my friends come here and visit. Kenya is beautiful and the ministry is just so needed. Hands are needed to serve and hearts are needed to love. The children have captured my heart and all I want to hold them and laugh with them.
Keep on praying friends. The Lord is all we have here.

In Christ,
Virginia Jo

Oh how He Loves us

A few days ago, I prayed for the Lord to continue pushing me to trust him. To give me a situation where I would have to lean on him. Not that all my days haven’t been days where I can lean on him, but I wanted a time, a situation, where I’d have no other choice but to trust him. And, as always, the Lord heard my cry and answered. I found out a member of my extended family has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and it has spread to two different areas of his body. Oh, Lord. I ask for faith, and you gave me the challenge of it. Here I am, in Kenya, with 9 people I’m still getting to know, and on the other side of the world, is the painful idea of someone in my family being sick. But at the same time, this is probably the best place for me. I can struggle with my fellow interns and share with them my fears. There isn’t a better place right now for me to be.

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 43. “Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” I think I love it so much because one of the things I struggle most with is knowing whether or not I am accepted by those around me. It’s something that if let loose, can take over my mind and drive me crazy. But look! I am already accepted. Not only that, but I am redeemed and chosen. I can’t do anything more or anything less in God’s eyes. “Fear not”. I don’t need to be worried about being weird, laughing too loud, saying something awkward, or even when I am alone and not with people. “I have redeemed you.” I have full confidence that my sins are forgiven and that nothing can undo that action. I once was blind, but now I see. “I have called you by name.” Jesus knows me, inside and out, and wants me. He sees my heart, knows it’s true nature, and still calls out for me. Like a lover when they see someone they love. They can’t help but desire to be with them. “You are mine.” Again, like a lover. A man who loves a woman wants her all to himself. No sharing, or anything like that. She belongs to him. Jesus loves me even more than a husband loves his wife. I am his beloved, beautiful little lady. I am his and nobody else’s. It’s like the song by Tenth Avenue North, called Beloved. “I am the giver of life, and I’ll clothe you in white.” As I go out into the slum to teach or into the church for worship, this is what I’ll start remembering. I am called, needed, redeemed, and beloved.

This Saturday we’re putting together a VBS day with the church and the community! We were told that close to 300 kids could possibly attend so to be ready for anything :) Here’s what’s going to happen: We’ll begin the morning with Mark sharing the Gospel story, and Courtney sharing our memory verse, “I am the way, the truth, and the light. No one comes to the Father except through me.” After that, we’ll divide into 4 groups, and start rotations. One group is music, led by Rachel and Jacob. Another is crafts led by Lauren and Rebecca. Another is games, led by Corey, Travis, and Justin. The last group is another story, led by Mark and I. Courtney will be in charge of the babies. We’ll have snacks and makes sure the kids are having fun. Of course, it will be crazy, chaotic, and exciting.

Today marks our third week. We’ve been told that after the third week, we will drop like flies. Now, that’s not to scare anyone reading this, but what I think he means is after the third week, people begin to realize that this schedule we’re living will be lived the rest of the summer. And for some people, that can cause the conflict stage to happen. I’ve been praying a bold prayer that my team would just skip the conflict stage. I mean, how ideal would that be? We would all be in the honeymoon stage for 8 solid weeks. CHECK PLEASE. But, the devil is cunning, and hates what we’re doing so he’s going to put up a good fight against us. He’ll use his crafty ways to lure us into small jealousy traps and cause us to doubt the power of the Lord. For those who have been following me, please pray that no matter what happens, our team will put all our trust and hope in the Lord. Pray that no matter what, we’ll believe that our God is more powerful than any earthly force. We’re here, 9 strangers for a summer and conflict is more than likely to happen. I just hope we can skip right through it, and leave it in the dust.

I’ll leave yall with a verse that has helped me get through the past few days:
“O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great or too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” - Psalm 131

Virginia

Fun Non-spiritual facts :)

Dear Friends and Family,

This blog is going to be my time of sharing different, non-spiritual things that I’ve learned so far in Kenya.

Sometimes when I’m trying to fall asleep at night, I hear this roar of a sound. I sit up straight from my bed, trying to figure out what could cause such a sound at this time in the night. And it dawns on me. A plane. Our home here is right behind the Nairobi airport. So, whether it be day, night, afternoon, morning, or evening, there is always a plane taking off or landing right behind us. Sometimes the sound is so loud, I can feel the room shake. It’s just something funny that we have learned to deal with here.

In America, when someone says “ I’ll pick you up at 10” that usually means they’ll be there around 10. In Kenya, this is different. They might get there at 10, or 11 or even 12. And when they get there, they have to break for tea. Americans move so quickly. We have to get every single thing done in 1 day without even taking a break. I have learned that time is always flexible when you’re with friends here. Sure, make a schedule and plan out a day but if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. Shrug your shoulders, have a laugh, and have some chi.

Fridays have become our “Fun American Food Friday!” day. Basically, the women living with us don’t cook for the day and we make “American food”. And we were so excited about that because we could eat food that we knew we loved. The problem arises when we realize that we are all college kids, which means our “American Food” that we know how to make is instant mac and ramen noodles. It also means that we have to figure out what exactly is American Food. Last night, we planed on having Taco Night, however, the grocery store didn’t sell tacos, tortillas, or pinto beans. So we settled for hamburgers. Typical American food.

Kenya has bugs. And I don’t mean normal ants that you just avoid when walking on the grass. I mean, HUGE, GIANT, SCARY-LOOKING BUGS. Here’s just one of many stories of my encounters with them:
I don’t make my bed in the mornings. Judge me, but it’s true. I just don’t have the motivation in the mornings to do it. So, one night me, Rachel and Rebecca were sitting in our room, and I was sorting through the receipts I had. Suddenly, Rachel starts freaking out, and I look to where she’s looking, and out of my bed sheets comes this HUGE, HALF-DOLLAR size spider. Oh, I lost it. I screamed and ran across the room, my heart racing and my hand shaking. I’ve never seen a spider so big and scary in my entire life. Needless to say, it died a terrible death.

I’ve learned that laughter is truely the best way to de-stress after a long day, that ice cream is universally the best dessert in the world, and that kitkat bars are better in Kenya than in the U.S. That’s all I have learned so far. :) It’s been an exciting 2 weeks so far. Take care everyone! Love yall!

Virginia

In Christ Alone

Hello all!
It’s been two weeks since we left home for MTWs pre-retreat in North Carolina. It’s hard to believe that we’ve been here this long. It also seems crazy to think that we only have seven Sundays left before it’s time to go home. Weird!! None of us are trying to think of it that way at all. We have all fallen in love with this country, and with our brothers and sisters in the church.

Since Friday, we’ve all stayed pretty busy but the good thing about our schedule is there are days when we can rest in between days that are super busy or stressful. Saturday was one of those restful days. Pastor Imbumi didn’t pick us up until 3p.m. to go to the girls home. I was able to finish a book, start another one and wash some towels. Once we arrived at the girls home, we played games and helped with homework and sang and prayed for church in the morning. I really enjoy preparing for church this way. I feel like I can prepare myself for not only the journey into the slum, but prepare my heart for the people and children I will encounter during the service.
Sunday was wonderful because of all the prayer. It was slightly more difficult to get into the slum but I made it and as always, breathed a sigh of relief once in the church. The church is such a symbol of peace and security. I feel safe in it, despite being in the center of a massive slum. I was surrounded by children from the moment I walked in to the moment I left. On my left, on my right, in my arms, in my lap, falling asleep in my arms. My motherly instincts came out and I can’t even begin to describe how wonderful it felt to have a sleeping child trust you and fall sleep in your ams. After church we picked up some ice cream (because after one visit, you are no longer a visiter which means you bring food to places) and headed to the girls home for one of the best lunches I have ever had. Fanta orange soda, a bean,carrot, and onion soup and a bread called chapati. It looks like a flour tortilla but it’s so much better. Sunday night, us interns watched The Office and laughed and laughed. We are such a good team together. I love laughing and I’ve found that laughter is such a great way to relax after a long day of working.
Monday is our day to stay on the land. The girls washed a ton of clothes and bed sheets. My back and arms are going to be so strong after a summer of washing clothes. The way Kenyans wash clothes is one of the most difficult and intense ways ever. They start by taking two buckets, filling one with clean water and the other with soapy-detergent water. Next they put the clothes in the soapy water and scrub them till the water isn’t clean water anymore. Then they rinse the soapy water out of the clothes (which takes a lot of effort because water makes everything so heavy) and drop them in the clean water. You do more scrubbing and then rinse the water out of it. And then you repeat everything a second time. So, no matter how much clothes or sheets or towels you have, it takes forever to wash stuff. But I now know how to do it, and maybe I can apply it to my college life, save some money here or there. :)
Normally on Tuesdays we’re in the slum teaching or serving those who are sick. But this week, Pastor Imbumi had a conference and couldn’t pick us up. So instead it’s a second day of staying here on the land. Other than the guys work, the girls didn’t really have all that much to do. And something I’ve been struggling to understand is the way Kenyan women work verses the way American women work. American women are used to things being equal. American women can do the same kind of jobs men can do. And we’re used to having men learn how to do typical women jobs like cooking and cleaning. But in Kenya, things are different. Women do the household chores like laundry, and cleaning the dishes and cooking the food. In fact, when our guys started doing the dishes, one of the Kenyan women living with us laughed and laughed at that sight. She couldn’t believe that American men would be doing the dishes. All that to say, the guys are physically building the building that will house all the rescued women. And we’re stuck doing laundry. We’ve been feeling kinda worthless. But the Lord showed me last night that by doing cleaning the sheets, I’m serving my team and I’m serving the Lord. By making lunch for the hungry, and tired boys, I’m serving them, and I’m serving the Lord. Another thing that I’ve been struggling with is the comparison game. It’s a sin I’ve struggled with my whole life. And one of the girls, Rachel, gave me a verse that has been really helpful: “But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be himself alone, and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.” Everyone has their own problems to work through. And everyone has something about them that is special and unique. Why should I try to be someone else with someone else’s problems? I have enough of my own. My creator made me this way and there isn’t a point to wishing for other qualities.

I’m going to end tonight’s blog with some prayer/praise requests:
Continue to pray for Pastor Imbumi and his wife Martha. They work really hard for us and don’t tell us a lot of things that they go through everyday.
Praise God for the situation with the little boy. He is now in the protection of Pastor Imbumi and is finally safe. He is a sweet child and we can’t wait to spend more time with him in the coming weeks.
And, pray for our team. We’re getting into the end of our third week and things are wonderful right now. We all love each other and enjoy spending time together. But what worries me is the 3rd week. Pray that we’ll continue to love each other and trust the Lord in all that happens.

In Christ Alone,
Virginia

June 2, 2011

What a week it has been!

Monday we worked on the land and gardened. The girls also learned how to wash clothes, clean the bathrooms, clean our rooms as well as the common rooms and kitchen, and continuing to learn how to cook Kenyan food. The boys started working on construction for the home for rescued girls. We watched as Jacob fell into a giant hole, and how Lauren uses a shovel. We were throughly exhausted by the end of the day.

Tuesday we went into the slum and were assigned the two different jobs we’ll work on for the rest of the summer. Some of us will be teaching children and others will be serving the adults with AIDS. As we were touring each of the classrooms, I knew that’s what I wanted to do but I didn’t know if I would be able to. Turns out, one of the grades wanted me to teach them so I get to teach little first graders with a wonderful assistant teacher! I walked into the classroom and just prayed that I could teach this little group and the Lord heard me. Next week will be my trial week but soon, I’ll be teaching them on my own, without the main teacher. My first day begins this coming Tuesday! Tuesday was also the day we got to go to the Java House and update online.

Wednesday was the Kenyan National Independence Day so we slept in! It was amazing what a few extra hours will do for one’s body and mental health. Instead of going into the slum though, we went to the girl’s home where we tutored them and played with them. I think they’re really starting to open up with us because according to our Pastor’s wife, “after day 1, we’re family” . :)

Thursday we traveled to a slightly nicer slum and the sister-church to ours. We worked with the school and the kids that go there, and we got to walk through the slum. It really was probably the most beautiful slum I’ve ever seen. Full of flowers and beauty, wild-life and corn and waterfalls and cliffs. It was gorgeous.

Today! Today is Friday which means I’m currently on my free day. Today we’re going to this huge market/store that holds everything anyone could ever want or desire. Food, wifi, clothes, stuff...also, any American thing you could want is there too. We’ll also be cooking only American food for ourselves since it’s Fun-Friday!

Since I last posted, I mentioned that I wanted to trust God more than I do. I want to be able run to Him before I run to anyone else. I’ve also been praying that the Lord would break my heart for what breaks his. And on Thursday, that happened. I won’t go into details since this is a personal story for a child and it’s online, but basically, the whole team is struggling with this current situation. A child, around the age of 8, tried to walk from the slum to where we are living because of how terrible his current home situation is. However, because we are not his legal guardians, he couldn’t stay with us overnight. We all know and believe that the Lord is good and his will is perfect. But when bad, and terrible things happen to either us or those around us, it’s really difficult to believe it. I think that God is showing me how to trust him. What was the first thing I did when I realized the child couldn’t stay with us, besides cry? I worried. What’s going to happen to him? What can I do to help? Where shall this child go? I worry so much about so many things that I can’t control. I doubt that God can work tough situations out if I can’t either. However, what is getting me through this tonight is knowing that God is still all powerful and all wise and all knowing. In the book of Job, how many times did the Lord allow terrible things to happen to him? So many terrible things! And yet, He was still there, and just as powerful and strong enough to tell the devil when that was enough. While none of us are happy with this situation, we all are remembering the Lord is strong and mighty.

Also, one of the most rewarding things I’ve been able to experience is working with the girls in their home. Most of these girls have been rescued out of seriously terrible situations and have been placed in the most loving home I can see. They have learned how to cook, clean, wash their clothes, and other home responsibilities. They also have been able to challenge themselves academically and learn more things than I ever learned in school. Most of them have really high expectations for themselves after school, like musicians, lawyers, or nurses. It took a few some time to open up to us, and that’s ok. But now, we’re family, and they giggle and laugh when we try to speak Swahili. They make fun of us and trick us into saying funny things. They all have so much spunk, and life that just being around them brings a smile to my face. I wish you all could meet these girls, because you would be able to see exactly what I’m trying to say. Their love for the Lord is clear, and they’re not ashamed of him. He rescued them from pain and constant fear. I hope someday to have the same kind of faith like they do. Faith like a child.

I hope everyone is doing well! Summer and the hot season has begun, I’m assuming in the States, so everyone be careful and stay hydrated :) Right now, it feels like it’s 68, and winter. Ironically, it is winter here and it cracks me up to hear the Kenyan children complaining about the weather. I love and miss everyone and I’ll post another blog just as soon as I can!

In Christ alone,

Virginia

First Post in Kenya!!

Hello friends! Sorry it has been so long since I was able to blog. Once we landed in Nairobi, Kenya, and arrived at our little home, I haven’t been able to connect to the internet. I have to go to what is called The Java House, which is like the “starbucks”of Kenya. I have a lot to say, and I know there are plenty of people who need to know specific details of my trip so I’ll start with our weekly routine.
Mondays: On Mondays, we will stay on the property all day and do hard-core landscaping work on it. The men will be responsible for the bulk of the tough stuff: building a foundation for a future rescued women’s home, planting trees, and other really intense stuff. The women will be planting various gardens and flower beds, painting and helping with anything else really. We’ll start working at 9am and end working around 4pm, with a lunch break in between. Also, the guys will do a lunch break Bible study with other Kenyan workers who may not believe in the Lord. And that’s Monday!
Tuesdays and Wednesdays: On both of these days, we will be spend our day in the Kibera slum where half of the team will work and serve AIDS victims, and the other half of the team will teach students with materials given to us by the actual teacher. Basically be a substitute teacher for a day. We’ll be spending the entire day here as well.
Thursdays: On this day, we’ll spend half the day with a sister-church, serving them in what they need, and the other half of the day working with the rescued women at their home.
Fridays: Friday is our Free day! Which means, more than likely, I’ll be updating my blog, facebook, and answering emails on a Friday. It also means we clean, prepare a cooking/cleaning schedule for the week, and wash clothes. Or do something really awesome like go on a Safari!
Saturdays: Saturdays will be spent with the rescued women at their home. We’ll be simply encouraging them through sports or homework or anything really. Just having a fun day with them.
Sundays: Church in the slum, known as the Kiberan Reformed Presbyterian Church.

What God has been teaching me since arriving has been that fact that I don’t rely on Him. We have a really really great team, and we’re all really different and unique but the Lord has been showing my that my heart goes to other people before it goes to Him. I want the team to approve of me and love me before I even think of God. Now, I know I don’t need God’s approval but at the same time, I should want to go to Him first.

Today is Sunday, (May 29) and it was our first day in the slum, and walking through it was shocking. I knew what I was getting myself into because I’ve been to Kenya before. I knew I’d see trash and smell junk and have to watch my head and feet from falling into mush. And yet, the first thought that came into my head was how nothing had changed since I last was there. Everything still looked the same. Children without shoes or really old dirty clothes. Pigs or goats or dogs wandering throughout the sewage. The closeness of homes. The stares of people as I wander through their village. Judging me. But as soon as I entered that church, peace and safety overwhelmed me. I knew I was safe because the people there had hope. And everything they did pointed to Christ. From the way they prayed (which was out loud all at the same time), to the way they sang (which was with power and emotion), to the way Pastor Imbumi preached ( which was with compassion and urgency) every one was screaming out to their Father. This is a beautiful sight to see. These people have nothing, nothing to desire or to place root in. The only thing they have is Jesus. He is the only thing they can root themselves in. I think that some, not all, but some American Christians root themselves in so many other things, as well as Jesus, that He becomes least important to them. When one has so many roots, it’s hard to find the core. The Kenyans at this church know who their Savior is, and it is the most encouraging thing to watch.

Well, this is as much as I can say now. It’s late, and I’m still getting used to this new time. Tomorrow is Monday and we’ll begin working here on the land. The Lord is working here and it’s clear to me that there is change in the air. What I’m going to try to do is blog every other night or so on my computer and then Friday, just copy and paste them all onto my actual blog. What yall can be praying for is the church, the pastor, the rescued women and my heart.
Church: It’s in the heart of the slum and endures it through. It need prayer, and support.
Pastor Imbumi: He has such a compassionate and full heart for these street children. And yet, the fruits of his labor are slow and hard to tell. Pray for him and his wonderful family that they won’t be discouraged by small numbers or slow believers.
The rescued women: These women all have a powerful story and a voice to say it. But being bought out of sexual slavery is a powerful silent charm. Pray that they will find their voice and become strong healthy women.
My heart: This is a tough trip for me because all I want to do is fix everything and help everyone. And some problems just can’t be fixed. Pray that I will rely on the Lord for everything, and continue to trust His goodness and mercy for this slum.

In Christ alone,
Virginia

It's Game Time baby!

I'm sitting here, trying to write how I'm feeling the night before I leave. My nerves are getting shaky, and my stomach is getting all butterfly-y. Packing is coming together, and tonight I'll go pick up our friend Travis, from Nebraska.
I can't believe this is all happening. It seems like yesterday during Christmas break that I was officially accepted and started writing my support letters. Just as quickly as Christmas ended, spring break came and the three of us ELCC interns began our super crazy mess of a yard sale. And then May came, and here I am today. The Lord has done wonders just to get me here. There are so many people I want to say thank you too. It was through the generous support of wonderful friends and family that I am able to go.
Now, I'm ready to see how the Lord will be done. What a wonderful trip this will be. :)
Prayer Requests as I leave tomorrow: Pray that I will be totally dependent on the Lord; that I won't ever think that I can do anything on my own.
Pray that I will remember that I am not here to change the culture, but to show the culture Jesus as best I can.
Pray that I will remember that I can only do so much, and to remember that my small, and very sinful efforts can be used.
Lastly, pray that I will grow and bond with my team, and that we will be that. A Team.

What a summer. For those who are supporting me, keep following this blog. I'll update it as best I can while I'm there. Facebook and email will also be other options of communication. Folks, this is it. I'm a day from the trip of my life. I can't wait to get there, and I can't wait to see the Lord work.

1 week!

We're at a week people!! Just one little week till I leave for the trip of my life. Also, another important thing happens in a week: I turn 21! Unfortunately, I won't really be able to celebrate until after I come back. But that's ok. My birthday has always fallen on weird days. Last week of school, last day of school, the coolest was graduating on my birthday. Talk about twisted. In the rush and craziness of high school graduation, I almost forgot that that day I turned 19. So, next monday will be no different. I'll celebrate with those people with me. :) Everything is flexible in my life.
On the topic of Kenya, for those following this blog who are supporting me we have news of where we are staying officially. See, 4 years ago, I went to Kenya and stayed in this sweet little convent that was run by nuns and a priest. It was gorgeous. Here is a picture of the section where I stayed. If I ever woke up earlier than I needed to, you could hear the nuns singing early in the morning. It was the most beautiful sound to wake up to.



Now, this is where I assumed I would be living this summer. And I was so confident in this that I was not doubting anything or anywhere else. And of course, this is not where I will be staying for the summer. There is a new head nun, and she is changing the rules. So, this summer, me and the 8 other interns will be staying in cabins on a piece of land where we will be building a home for rescued women. It was consist of cabins, sorta, and one will be for the men and the other for the women. There will be a small kitchen, small bathroom, and a common area. In the first couple of weeks, Kenyan women will help teach us how to wash our clothes, and cook food for ourselves. Whew. This is completely and totally not what I was expecting. But that's ok. Because at the end of this trip, I'll know how to cook!
So that's what I know right now. Packing is slow, but coming together. I have all the little american snack that I can take and I probably need one more trip to walmart or target to get the rest of my things like bug-spray, sunscreen and socks. But we only ave 7 days left!!! The summer of my life is about to start!! Lord help me get there! :)

Failing and Glorfying God at the Same Time

Departure is now 12 days. 12!! I got my shots today, and I still can't really feel my right arm. And according to the travel-shot lady, I gotta wear my sunscreen while I'm there, and bring peto-bismol. These are the essentials for my health and wealth for me and everyone else. Still don't have a packing list or an i-ternary list or when I'm leaving for the pre-intern retreat. And you know what, God has been using this to show my little faith in him. I'm putting so much trust in my own packing idea. This idea consists of me, virginia jo foster, doing everything on my own. It's a terrible idea because what I don't seem to realize is that I can't. I can freak out, scream, get so irritated that my insides hurt but the truth is I don't have a clue as to what to do.
I simply don't trust the Lord with my life, with the small details and the big details. I can already feel the jealousy forming in my heart, and I'm not even in Kenya. What will happen to me once I am there, openly serving the Lord. I always think I can get to a point in my life where I can specifically say "Look! I'm trusting you NOW. With THIS issue. My WHOLE heart is there." I want to get there and be there all the time. There have been times when I've seen the effects of trusting the Lord. The problem is I just flirt away and trust myself. I don't want to ramble, but at the same time, I am realizing, once again, that I have a problem. It's a problem that I want to get control over. I want to be able to roll my shoulders, shrug it off, and walk away in peace. A problem in tickets? No Big Deal. A jealousy problem? Deal With It. A control issue? Start Praying Now.
I need you people to pray for me as much as you can. I know my weaknesses and I know that I'm going to be traveling to an area full of sin and people who are hopeless. I also know that I'm going to be doing something the devil is fully against, and he's going to do all that he can to make me doubt, or cause me to fail in some way. People, let this be known that I will fail. However, I want to fail in a way that I can glorify God. Pray, starting praying now. This is the start of a wild adventure, and I hope that when I come home I can say that I trust God in a more grace-filled way then ever before.

Awake My Soul

"How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
This weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker"

-Mumford and Sons

How fickle my heart, and how woozy my eyes. I see the truth and I run away. I sense the trials and I coward myself into comfort. My heart desires one thing, my mind another. I can't get past my sin. I can't ever do enough. This weakness I've been trying to hide so well is starting to show. People notice, judge and whisper. Who am I to stop them? The world has this idea of me, and sometimes, they are right. My heart is fickle, and my eyes are woozy. My soul is thirsty for something perfect. Awake my Soul! Awake my Soul! You were made to meet your maker.

My Opportunity

I can't believe this, but in about 1 month, I'll be leaving for Kenya!! It's just so amazing. The Lord has brought everything I just about need together. I'm only short $500 at this point, which is unbelievable. Thank you to everyone who has financially supported me. The only thing keeping me in school and not hoping onto a plane is finals. It's probably the only time I will ever say I'm thankful for them.
Also, I've been taking a facebook break because the Lord, through my wonderful roomie, told me I spent too much time online. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized the Lord was right. Social networking is great to keep in touch and check in on friends that live further away from me. It's also great to post pictures and stuff. I LOVE FACEBOOK. However, I was spending more time looking at pictures of people, than actually looking at those people face to face. And I've been off of it for the duration of Lent. Since being off, God has shown me a lot of ugly stuff about me. I sin too quickly, I rely on other things besides him, and I don't really believe that God has full control over my life. It's ugly, sticky sin that goops to everything around me. I fall into traps and lose control. What a distraction facebook was?! So, while I certainly miss checking in on my friends, it's been a great break.
Finals are 2 weeks away, and Easter is this coming Sunday. What a wonderful year it has been. Fall football memories with some really great people, playing music to not only encourage the team and the fans, but to play my very best for Lord. It is with a joyful sound that I bring to the field every single Saturday afternoon/evening in the fall. And what a way to end the semester by going to Arizona (free), eating a fancy dinner (free), going to malls, zoos, and other fan-filled areas (free), and playing and screaming in the biggest football game in the nation (free). WOW. It was one of the coolest trips I have ever been on, and it's a sweet payback to all the trials high school band brought me. Spring semester has been filled with a first ever hockey game, basketball games, baseball games, and all the wonderful memories in all of them. It's been filled with RUF winter conferences, fellowship groups, visits to rebuild homes for the needy, and daily learning to be thankful for the mercy and love and forgiveness, and the freedom to sin boldly from my Lord. RUF has been more than a blessing in my college life, and I'm so thankful for everyone who has been there and become my friend. What a year. My opportunities have become so endless in college. It's amazing to see how much God has changed my life.

Out of the Woods

"I wish you out of the woods
And into a picture with me
I wish you over the moon
Come out of the question and be

If this is gonna run 'round in my head
I might as well be dreaming
Run 'round in my head

I roller coaster for you
Time out of mind must be heavenly
It's all enchanted and wild
Just like my heart said it was gonna be"

- Out of the Woods, by Nickel Creek -

A Kid at Heart

I'm in even in Kenya yet, and the Lord is already teaching me to be patient and trust Him. My money has been coming in, and thanks to many wonderful people out there, I'm secure in that. However, now the burden that is in my heart is all the paperwork. It's just not something I enjoy doing, and I have this fear that I'm not going to get it all done in time. But even as I type this, I'm getting more peace in my heart. It is literally one month until I leave. 1 more month. And all the paperwork will get done on time. I'll put forth the effort needed, and I'll get there and serve the people and children of Kenya. This has been a dream that I just didn't even think was going to happen. So, I'm learning now, 1 month away, to be patient and let God work.

In other news, finals are in 2 weeks! HOW WEIRD. Then summer and then I'll be a junior. What a weird concept. Junior status means I know my major which means I should know what I want to do with my life. And I do. But, at the same time, I don't know if I'll have a job when I graduate college. Or where I'll live or what school I'll teach at. But hey. Junior year also means I'm a 3rd year vet in the marching band, and pretty much known the drill. Junior means I know the secret places to study where the noisy freshmen won't be. And junior means I'm finally done with core classes, and can finally appreciate, and enjoy school and my classes.

What weirds me out is just the concept of growing up in general. I feel like I'm 16 still, and yet I turn 21 this year. What...where...when did this happen? I don't know. But I know for sure that when I get to be a grandma, I'm going to act like I'm a kid. Giggly, awkward, and forever wanting to have fun.

And these girls make my life oodles and oodles of fun.

I can smell summer

Amen.
How many times have I planned, hoped and dreamed something, only to have the opposite come true. Life is flying by, and I just can't even believe all the wonderful directions I've gone in. Directions that were so different than what I originally planned. Go to Auburn? No way. Here I am though. Be in the marching band? Absolutely not. And yet, my best friends are in marching band. Join a sorority? Heck no. And yet, God's provided me some wonderful friends that I would not have taken the time to meet. Travel to Kenya? NO. But now, finals are the only thing that's keeping me in this country. Be a teacher? That's not sensible at all. But my calling is totally and without a doubt a younger elementary school teacher. Every major decision I've ever made has come because I let go, and let God take over. The first half of college is almost over. The second half will be filled with more decisions. What do I do after college? Where do I go? Who do I live with? What church do I go to? It's weird. But I gotta remember that the most important thing I can learn from college is knowing I can't do anything with Christ, and that includes decisions about my future.

The Mammoth Yard Sale

Below are pictures of what 3 college interns put together in 1 week.


Here is the huge list of the things to get done still...:)

This sale begins tomorrow morning at 6am. OR maybe it's 7am...I don't remember. But come support us East Lanier girls as we get ready for the trip the Lord is calling us on!
GO TEAM KENYA!

Spring Break 11!!

High five to me! Spring break for me this year is staying home with my parents, and flowery branch friends, and organizing a yard sale to help support me and two other girls interning in Kenya this year. It's been real. It's been good. It's been real good.

Here's a idea I'm working on currently: Take a particular woman who gets really really excited about friends and having fun, and mix her into school. Her grades suffer because she loves social networking, and figuring out the latest and newest, and having fun. Take social networking away from her, and watch the Lord work in her life. She suddenly has to be aware that her identity is not found in friends or who wants to take a picture with her. Her identity is found in the Lord, and maybe, social networking and friends are not as important as that. I'll let you know in April how this woman is doing, and if she has realized what is important in life. :)

Post-Winter Conference Syndrome

Here are the symptoms I'm feeling due to Post-Winter Conference: exhaustion, a headache, stress due to the homework I didn't do ( maybe I brought that one onto myself...) and a happy heart. I'm excited about sleeping in my own bed, with my own fluffy two pillows, and the ability to not live out of a bag or use the same jacket three days in a row. But what I'll miss is the feeling of over-coming a fear of heights to view a valley full of beauty and terror. Or sitting on a rock next to a massive waterfall and hearing and feeling the effects once the water touches the rocks beneath it. God's glory was all around me this weekend, from the words I sang to the games I played.

Picture this: 12-15 college kids, in a circle striking ninja positions. Or, that same group of kids playing a game with hand signs and an invisible ball. This is glorifying God. His children, working together, and having fun. Now picture this: 300 people stuffed into a small room, crowd surfing, loud music, the smell of "people" all around you, and depending on how short you are, having an armpit shoved into your face. This, as gross as it is, is glorifying God. Lastly, picture this: Auburn students mixed in with Alabama students, Vanderbilt and Tennessee, Carson-Newmon and Birmingham Southern standing and singing "O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee. I give thee back the life I owe, that in thine ocean depths it's flow, may richer fuller be." Or "Guide me Oh, thou Great Jehovah pilgrim through this barren land. I am weak, but thou art mighty. Hold me with thy powerful hand. Bread of Heaven, feed me now and ever more. Bread of Heaven, feed me now and ever more." It's truly inspiring to see that so many young people putting aside their messy lives to worship to one true Lord.

We learned over the weekend about community, and how to make our own RUF more like what Jesus most believed in. I learned that Jesus was all about community, connections, and being with people. And that God has created all of us to be social people. We have to be with people specifically, friends who love us despite obvious sin in our lives, for true community to happen. We also have to be bold and love and forgive those who are different from us. "There must be forgiveness for unity." "I need to lean into the things or the people who scare me the most." " The body of Christ has 1 head, and many needy body parts." We can sit and talk theology all we want, but if we don't love those who are different, then how different are we?

I think I'll get over the physical symptoms of Post-Winter Conference. My stress levels will eventually even out, and I'll do what I have to do to continue with my grades and my sleep hours. But the spiritual lessons, the memories of walking down a mountain, and feeling the happiness in my heart while laughing with my friends won't be leaving anytime soon. In fact, I think these are pretty permanent.

"There is one body and one Spirit- just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call- one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, and through all and in all." - Ephesians 4:4-6

Baba Yetu

This song makes my heart long for Kenya. It also reminds me that every one around the world is worshiping the one true God. And it is a beautiful thing. The song is called Baba Yetu, and it's my heart's cry right now.

Home is Where My Heart is

I was fortunate enough to get a weekend off to come home. I just love being home. I suddenly am able to shake off every weight that attached itself to me. Recently, I've been struggling with believing that everything that God brings in my life is for a specific reason. This includes people, things, specific changes, and my grades in school. Now, I will be the first person to admit that school isn't really my thing. People are my thing. But, I do desire to be a teacher, so I'll stick with this college thing. But, I don't test well. I can study and study and study for a test, and get a failed grade while others around me get As. I get in a funk, and think to myself:

"You're so stupid. Look at you. Failing at something simple. Everyone else around you is able to complete it with flying colors. You can't do anything right. How did you even get into college anyways? Who's going to want to marry someone as stupid as you."

If I let myself think too much like this, I believe it.

I know this is unhealthy thinking, but it's my first thought. It's my sin causing me to doubt God's goodness. I've never failed a class because I failed the first, second or third exam. My friends still love me even though I fail. My future husband will still love me even if I disappoint him. More importantly, God still thinks I'm worth it.

God knew me, knew my sin, knew everything about my life and the decisions I would make, before I was even alive. He knew I would fail exams, fail people, and fail him. But that just could not stop his deep and unconditional love from reaching out to save me. How could he lose me to sin?
So yes, I'm a failure. And those thoughts will always continue to plague me, until I no longer have to take exams. And then they will adapt to whatever new situation I'm in. But thank goodness God will never give up on me. He takes those thoughts and says:

"Virginia, daughter of mine, stop it. You're being silly. Do you know how insignificant this exam will be in the long haul? Sweet heart, you're beautiful, wonderful, and will always amaze me. I created everything in you to be sweet. Stop worrying about being accepted, or getting a good grade. You're perfect in my eyes."

And because of this, I'll forever Praise my Lord.

Since I have a minor version of the flu, I have no ability to think of something creative to write about. But here is a picture I just love.

Love isn't fancy, expensive, cliche, or dramatic. Love doesn't care what you wear, what you say or how you do it.
Love is love. And by simply loving someone, you can make their whole day.

Kenya Gives Me Hope.

God's children. They are beautiful and wonderfully made. They give me hope.

God's Creation gives me hope.

The simplistic nature of people, and that we are really all the same, gives me hope.

Singing gives me hope.

A Friend gives me hope.

Food and Happiness give me hope.

Kenya gives me Hope.