Hello!
Today (Friday, June 24) we went to into the city of Nairobi and did a little touristy-shopping. It was fun, but it was getting there that was exciting. We rode in a van to about half way there and then had lunch at a Javahouse. Ironic yes. And then we did public transportation until we got to the city. Now, the thing about Kenya is they don’t follow the idea that people have the right of way. If you cross the street, you better have enough time to cross because the cars will not stop for you. And that’s what we experienced. Once we got into the city, we did a little shopping for gifts and stuff. The guys are making dinner for us tonight, and I think it’s going to consist of fruit and marconi and cheese :)
This week has been tiring to me. I feel like there are days when my heart is just tired of repeating the message “Am I satisfied with where I am? Can I let go of my dreams and give it to the Lord?” On Wednesday, Caroline ( mother to the rescued women), Jacob and I went into some of the homes of those suffering in the Kibera. It was heart breaking at times. One women we visited was so tired. Her husband was no where to be found and she had two children to feed and clothe. Another was an old woman, close to 90 years old. But instead of breaking my heart in a sad way, she broke my heart in a spiritual way. Her name is Mary and she loves the Lord. Mary told me that she relies on the Lord for every single one of her needs. She knows that if she even thinks that she can do things without the Lord, she will fail. The Lord used Mary to show me how little my faith is. I don’t rely on the Lord for every single on of my needs. I don’t even rely on him for half of my needs. We only visited 4 homes, but I was exhausted. I think another reason I’m tired is I’m trying so hard to be the girl everyone wants to be friends with. It’s a terrible desire to want this. I start to listen to the lies that whisper terrible things about me, and why nobody would ever want to be my friend. And because I’m so weak, I listen, believe, and try to change it. Sometimes it doesn’t even cross my mind that Jesus wants to be my friend. Jesus wants to be my friend. And, all I can think about is whether I’m being paid enough attention. Why would anyone want to be my friend if they knew this was what I wanted? But, Jesus wants to be my friend. And more than that! He wants my heart to belong to him, and not to anyone else. He doesn’t want me to chase after guys because He knows they will let me down. He doesn’t want me to chase after friendships because He knows they will let me down. He doesn’t want me to chase after myself because He knows I’ll fail myself. He wants me. He has always wanted me.
Everyone knows that I am a romantic, cheesy kind of girl. In fact, the girls I’ve been living with here asked me what will I do once I’m married, because I’ll have lived the day I’ve been waiting my whole life for. I’m just that girl. And it’s bringing tears to my eyes to know that Jesus longs to be the person I’m desiring. He wants to fill that spot. He wants me to be comfortable in my singleness because He is here. My whole life has been a constant search for what will satisfy the craving my heart wants.

“O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee.”

Virginia Jo