It's hard for me to deal with change. Most people would agree. They find a system and they stick with it. But for me, it's really difficult to deal with the change of my friendships. I love my friends. I really really do. It is because of them that I find most of my happiness and joy. I love each and everyone of them to pieces. I don't like being alone, because I'm not with them. I will be that woman who always has friends in her life, because that's just how God created me. But, what is difficult for me to get over is when friendships start to split. And that's something I just do not like. I know it's natural and that over time, it's just not possible to keep up with those you love all the time. But, gosh darn it, I just don't like the idea of having time separate me from my friends. Granted, facebook has made things a lot easier, but it's not always the same. I like things to stay the way they used to be sometimes. I want to grow up, but keep all my lovely friendships for all my years with me. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but i've been feeling this way for a while. I wish people didn't have to change, leave, move or grow up.

Princes and Princesses

There was once a little girl, who longed for a prince. She knew her fairy-tale stories by heart, and was sure that one day, her prince would find her. She knew he would be perfect in every way. He would be taller than her, with thick hair and gleaming eyes. He would be strong enough to scoop her into his arms, and walk her to the most perfect horse ever. And after that, well, who knew. But she was sure that it would be perfect. One day, this little girl grew up, and went to college. She soon realized that her fairy-tale was never going to happen. She knew this because as soon as she went to her first class, some boy let the door slam in her face. And later, after she tripped over a rock in the street, boys walked around her, like she had a disease. This little girl, who longed so desperately for her prince, soon gave up on every finding someone for her. And as soon as she gave up the idea of perfection, she met someone.

Hey there fellow bloggers!

I'm pretty much a disgrace to the blogging community. It's been like 5 months since my last blog, and so much has happen since I last was here. It always seems to happen to me. I forget I have this little thing, I read someone else's blog, I think to myself I should blog, and then I remember that I actually have one.

But, I have news of great joy! As of this summer, I will be blogging like everyday because I'm GOING TO KENYA!!!!

:)

Yes, I'm pumped. Pumped isn't even the right word for it. More like "HOLY-MOTHER OF-FREAKIN-PEARL- excited.

I decided last fall that I wanted to go somewhere for a summer, as intern. My problem was picking out where to go. I've been to 4 countries in my short lifetime, and the possibilities were at least those 4 places. But God laid on my heart Kenya, and that's where I decided I wanted to go. So this past summer, I spent the whole time working and filling out an application to go. And in October, I found out I'll be attending with 4 wonderful and beautiful girls and 4 totally awesome guys! This is seriously going to be the trip of my life, because once I start teaching after college, there won't be a legit opportunity to go again.

Since I've already been to Kenya, one would assume I'd be used to the living conditions. But I'm starting to doubt that assumption. Yes, I've been there. But it's been almost 4 years. The children I loved and served could either be gone, enslaved in some form of slavery, have contracted AIDS or be malnourished and hungry. And the living conditions are still going to shake me. I'm living in a cramped, small dorm with only a bathroom sink to wash my dishes, hands and face. These people have nothing. A shack with mud and clay and garbage keeping it together. No sewer system, no real system at all. No way to really move out of the slum, no prospects, and the constant fear of dying. But this excites me. The believers who live this life have nothing. Nothing but hope. They have hope that someday they will be saved from this sorry life. Americans don't have this hope. We live off of our money, literally. Money buys happiness. And we can preach all we want the idea of charity and living simple lives, but the real truth is no one is really comfortable with that idea. We all want to be safe. We want our future to be safe, our families to be safe, and how is that accomplished? By spending money on a nicely furnished house so our kids feel secure in who they are. It's rather lame to me. I lived in a small house with the same tv set my parents got when they were engaged. We lived off of one income for a seriously long time, and were still able to have vacations and Christmas gifts every year. My point to all this rambling isn't to show you how one is to live or to gloat about my life, but to show that there are always people worse off than us who would love to have just a taste of how our lives are lived.

So, that is who I'll be serving. And I just can't wait. I want to be changed, and I want other's to teach me how to trust God when there isn't anything left. I want to hold baby Kenyans in my arms and love them more than anyone else has ever loved them. I want to encourage Christian woman to wait for the man God has made for them, and not ever to think they aren't beautiful. God has done some seriously amazing things in my past. And it will be such a joy to give it all back.

-V