Dear Friends and Family,
I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but the other day, I challenged the Lord to prove something to me. Challenged isn’t even the right word. I boldly asked the Lord to show me something about him. You see, the other day, I kinda felt like I had hit the bottom level of tiredness on this trip. My heart was tired of searching for something. And while I knew the Lord would be what I was searching for, I was too blind to even notice. One evening, all the emotions, and exhaustion just fell on my weak little heart, and I couldn’t help but cry out to the Lord for help. And in the midst of all of it, He spoke to my heart. That night I was looking at the stars, and that night was one of the most beautiful nights to look at stars so far. God made all of those stars and knows every single one of their patterns. He also knows me, and knows every single thing about me. I realized that only God can make stars shine and twinkle like that do, and only God can know every detail about them. So, that night, I prayed that Jesus would be my romancer. That He would prove to me that His love and kindness and romantic ways are better than what I was looking for in other people. I challenged Him to be what I need.
The morning after I prayed that, there was a beautiful sun rise. Probably the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. The rest of the day was sunny, warm, and happy. In the evening, there was without a doubt, the most beautiful sun set I have seen so far on this trip. The way the colors mixed together and the way the sun rays shone through the clouds were obvious that I serve a God who is an artist. Jesus answered my prayers on the first day with the most wonderful and beautiful day I’ve ever seen. My God is a creative artist who can put together the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. And, my God is a creative sculpture who has made me, and is proud of me. He loves everything about me, and wants my heart more than anything else. How wonderful to know that I belong to a King who not only knows everything about the world, but everything about me.
Each morning I’ve been reading a Psalm and today I read Psalm 6. It’s a tough one to read because the psalmists is really struggling. He says “heal me O Lord, for my bones hurt.” His whole body is aching, and he is tired. So tired he weeps at night from exhaustion. People are evil to him, and it’s taking everything he has to love them. But the best part of this whole psalm is when he says that the Lord knows “the sound of my weeping.” The Lord knows the sound of my tears! He knows the way I cry, the way I laugh, and the way I burden myself with guilt. The psalmist ends by saying the Lord heard his cry, heard his prayer, and answered it. All of his enemies shall be put to shame, and troubled. “They shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.” Despite the sadness in this psalm, it hits me in a deep way. This man was clearly struggling, and the Lord heard him. All this man did was proclaim his problems to the Lord and wait in patience for peace. That’s all I need to do. Tell the Lord that my biggest desire is to be wanted, desired and be worthy for someone and wait in patience for peace. The Lord knows my heart.
I’m going to end this blog with a small update on what’s going on here, since I really didn’t even mention the ministry in Kibera. :) This week Paster Imbumi had a pasters conference this week so we haven’t seen him in a week. The school is doing well, and I’ve really really enjoyed teaching and being with my first graders. The other day, I brought in construction paper and crayons and had them draw pictures of them and their families at Christmas time. All of the kids lit up with pure happiness to be able to draw and some of them drew me in the pictures with their families. Sometimes it feels like I haven’t really been doing a lot for these children. I just show up and hang out with them. But through my love for them, Jesus is working in their little hearts. Some of these kids come from bad homes, broken homes, or poor homes. One of my little girls was ironing and burned about half of her hand. Now she is scarred and will forever have this on her hand. And yet, despite that, some of them have asked me for Bibles. So, even though sometimes I feel like I’m more of a distraction than actual help, Jesus is working, and is in their heart. Another little thing that’s been going on is with our team. From the very beginning, we made fun of the idea of having conflict. We would joke about when people were tired or irritated that we had entered the conflict stage. But really, what I think has been happening is little tiny tensions have been building and nobody is willing to bring it up. Pray for our team. We need to be willing to open up about our feelings and if we’ve been hurt. The devil is cunning, and used our pride of not having conflict to actually stir up tensions to create conflict. Pray that we will trust in Jesus for our needs and hopes and desires. The last thing that’s been going on around Kenya is the friendships we’ve been making with the girls in Shunem. The stories these girls have are shocking. And yet they are all saved and redeemed. They are beautiful, laugh so much, and are tricky little things. If you’re in their way, they’ll pinch you. The joy they have in the Lord is convicting. I’ve loved being with them and laughing about nothing and everything with them. It’s going to break my heart to have to leave.
Hope everything is doing great in the States! I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July! We’ll have our own little celebration here on Saturday July 2 with the girls. We’ll show them how Americans celebrate our nations birthday with hot dogs, backed beans and ice cream sundaes. I’ll leave yall with my dad’s famous quote from church that has been more beneficial than ever: “Your sin is not an hindrance to the work of Jesus in you; your sin is the very reason for the work of Jesus in you.”
Love you guys!
Virginia Jo.
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