Has it really been a month?

Dear Friends and Family,
I hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July! It felt weird celebrating my nations birthday in a different country but we had an awesome celebration with some of the workers who have been working on the land with us. We cooked hotdogs (rather, smoked chicken sausages) and had fresh fruit, french fries, ice cream, and lots of great dancing music. I had the best time simply dancing really awkwardly and laughing with everyone. It’s been a little bit more difficult to get to know the workers as a woman because I’ve been told scary mission stories. But, none of that have has happened, and I feel kinda bad about keeping my distance. Some of them mentioned that they really want to know us girls better because we are sisters in Christ. So, we’ll start talking to them and getting to know them as brothers in Christ. :)
Today is Tuesday which means we were in Kibera today. I did my teaching, and today I got to teach the kids about Christmas, and the reason we need to be thankful for the things God gives us. I asked them “What are you thankful for?” and I expected answers like “My mom”, “My dogs”, or “My teacher.” But the answers I got were, “Prayer”, “Worshipping the Lord”, and “Faith”. What I wanted them to say were straight up good material things, and instead, I got a conviction as to what is more important to me. These little kids mean so much to me. They love seeing me, and love calling me by my Kenyan name, “Kanini” which mean “short one.” :) I’m dreading the week when I have to leave them. After lunch, I got to go on a house visit, and meet this wonderful sister in Christ. She is a single mom but has lost the custody of her children because she doesn’t have a job to support them. So her kids live with her parents and are struggling to make ends meet. Her husband died, and she doesn’t have anyone that lives with her. She is tired, like all Kibera Kenyans, and is simply trying to live to each day. But, she love the Lord so much, and goes to a good church. She loves singing, and sang me a song that she wrote. I don’t remember all the lyrics but one line said “ I trust you to take care of me when I can’t.” How true! She made me tear up because her life is so much more of a challenge then mine is, and yet, she puts all her hope and trust in the Lord. The Lord is using so many different people and situations to get ahold of my heart.
Things have been challenging to me lately. It seems like my sin has been appearing up more and more in my life. It stays hidden so well when I don’t have a phone, or a constant ability to get online. I’ve really been struggling lately with the perfect plan of God. I’ve been praying so much about my future and how to deal with the questions like “Is there going to be a job for me when I graduate?” “Should I teach in Kenya?” “Am I going to get married?” These questions may seem silly, but I’ve been plagued by them. Kenya has changed the way I view the Lord and my service towards him. But, my doubts have been in the way of everything. My perfect game plan would be to graduate, move to Kenya for two years, and then get married to mystery man. But, I don’t know what’s going to happen. If you want to keep that in your prayers, that’d be great. I want to serve the Lord but I just don’t know how yet.
I love you guys so much. I’ve experienced God’s love in such a deeper way than ever before. He has showed me my sin, and pushed me to fall into Him because of it. He says “Virginia, you want to get married? You want a soul mate? You better trust me first. You have to believe that my will for your life is good, perfect, and pleasing. Sweet child of mine, trust your Father’s will for your life. Trust that I will take care of you, even if I never give you what you want.” I don’t want to leave Kenya at all. I love this culture, and the friends I have made, and the children I have taught. But, I know that home and being back in school will be good because I can take all that I’ve learned this summer and apply it to the rest of my life. I love you guys, and I really miss all of your smiley happy faces. I hope that everyone is having a great summer. Talk to yall soon!
Virginia!