Departure is now 12 days. 12!! I got my shots today, and I still can't really feel my right arm. And according to the travel-shot lady, I gotta wear my sunscreen while I'm there, and bring peto-bismol. These are the essentials for my health and wealth for me and everyone else. Still don't have a packing list or an i-ternary list or when I'm leaving for the pre-intern retreat. And you know what, God has been using this to show my little faith in him. I'm putting so much trust in my own packing idea. This idea consists of me, virginia jo foster, doing everything on my own. It's a terrible idea because what I don't seem to realize is that I can't. I can freak out, scream, get so irritated that my insides hurt but the truth is I don't have a clue as to what to do.
I simply don't trust the Lord with my life, with the small details and the big details. I can already feel the jealousy forming in my heart, and I'm not even in Kenya. What will happen to me once I am there, openly serving the Lord. I always think I can get to a point in my life where I can specifically say "Look! I'm trusting you NOW. With THIS issue. My WHOLE heart is there." I want to get there and be there all the time. There have been times when I've seen the effects of trusting the Lord. The problem is I just flirt away and trust myself. I don't want to ramble, but at the same time, I am realizing, once again, that I have a problem. It's a problem that I want to get control over. I want to be able to roll my shoulders, shrug it off, and walk away in peace. A problem in tickets? No Big Deal. A jealousy problem? Deal With It. A control issue? Start Praying Now.
I need you people to pray for me as much as you can. I know my weaknesses and I know that I'm going to be traveling to an area full of sin and people who are hopeless. I also know that I'm going to be doing something the devil is fully against, and he's going to do all that he can to make me doubt, or cause me to fail in some way. People, let this be known that I will fail. However, I want to fail in a way that I can glorify God. Pray, starting praying now. This is the start of a wild adventure, and I hope that when I come home I can say that I trust God in a more grace-filled way then ever before.
I simply don't trust the Lord with my life, with the small details and the big details. I can already feel the jealousy forming in my heart, and I'm not even in Kenya. What will happen to me once I am there, openly serving the Lord. I always think I can get to a point in my life where I can specifically say "Look! I'm trusting you NOW. With THIS issue. My WHOLE heart is there." I want to get there and be there all the time. There have been times when I've seen the effects of trusting the Lord. The problem is I just flirt away and trust myself. I don't want to ramble, but at the same time, I am realizing, once again, that I have a problem. It's a problem that I want to get control over. I want to be able to roll my shoulders, shrug it off, and walk away in peace. A problem in tickets? No Big Deal. A jealousy problem? Deal With It. A control issue? Start Praying Now.
I need you people to pray for me as much as you can. I know my weaknesses and I know that I'm going to be traveling to an area full of sin and people who are hopeless. I also know that I'm going to be doing something the devil is fully against, and he's going to do all that he can to make me doubt, or cause me to fail in some way. People, let this be known that I will fail. However, I want to fail in a way that I can glorify God. Pray, starting praying now. This is the start of a wild adventure, and I hope that when I come home I can say that I trust God in a more grace-filled way then ever before.
We will pray fervently, for him to make you strong against all attacks.
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